14:00 – Movie – The Korean Matrix – Sci-fi thriller. Neojumma bends the laws of physics aboard the Seoul Subway system, as she manages to enter the train at the exact same point in both time and space as others exit.
16:00 – Healthwatch – Although kimchi cures MERS, SARS, Swine Flu, ingrown toenails and AIDS, the horrific salt content negates all of these miracles, leaving the nation back at square one.
18:00 – Evening News – Hagwon owners are outraged, as rumors abound that teachers will now have to possess some kind of TEFL credential, as opposed to the previous standard of blonde hair and big boobs.
20:00 – Stand-up Comedy – Johnny Furrerrnerr spends 90 hilarious minutes sneezing all over an appreciative crowd, building up to his big final gag… HE HAS MERS!
22:00 – Women’s Volleyball – Possibly the only reason for a foreign man in Korea to bother watching TV. Who cares that porn is blocked with this on TV?!