On the Box

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14:00 – Educating Seoul – With talk of removing native English speakers from English kindergartens, the team decides to remove all the Americans from one Gangnam kindy and replace them with the cast of Trainspotting, just to see what the kids sound like later on.

16:00 – Talking with Waygooks – Shock, horror and scandal as one European panellist admits a distaste for kimchi.

18:00 – Travelogue – Billy-Bob and Peggy-Sue embark on an epic train journey all the way across the peninsula from Pohang to Incheon. Viewers are reminded that you should not tell their boss, as they’re pulling a midnight run.

20:00 – Game Show – The Age is Right! – If you’re older, you win! Automatically.

22:00 – The Tech Show – The Korean internet is great for torrenting things, but can it be used to actually pay for something. Like with a credit card?

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Very Reality TV!

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14:00  – Nature Documentary – This week we take a look at the ajumma in her natural habitat. Watch as she haggles for a magnificent pink and purple visor, which she will need to keep her hair tightly permed and the sun off her face. We also study how the visor empowers even the tiniest of the species to wholeheartedly ignore the laws of physics and decency when getting on and off the subway.

16:00 – Educating Seoul – Billy-Bob teacher ponders the question of just letting the little bastards sleep through class and teaching to the wall, rather than raising his blood pressure trying to wake them all up.

18:00 – Drama – Toss English – There are some inappropriate goings on the most inappropriately named hagwon chain, whilst Peggy-Sue must decide how the hell to put her three years of experience at this place on her resume.

20:00 – Come Fly With Me – This week Korean Air goes nuts as a prissy chaebol princess dictates the direction of an entire plane.

22:00 – Great Railway Journeys – Unfortunately, we’re unable to take the piss this week, as all the trains seem to be running on time, and the fares appear to be reasonable.

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What’s on Korean TV?

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14:00 – Kids Zone – Today’s nursery rhyme – Ten Green Soju Bottles, Standing on the Wall

16:00 – Game Show – The Age is Right – Contestants find out each other’s true ages, and then capitulate to the oldest in the group. Repeat

18:00 – Fashionista Korea – Hot favourite ‘Escort Agency Sexy Girl’ comes up against ‘Glacial Greed Pussy’ in this battle to be the most horrifically wrong garment.

20:00 – Consumer Watchdog – The team investigates the alcohol industry, following revelations that both Cass and Hite have been marketed to the public as beer.

22:00 – Koreans Being Korean – Two popular comedians visit the countryside to see an old lady boil the shit out of some vegetables. Repeat

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Today’s Highlights

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14:00 – MOVIE – Frozen – Peggy-Sue teacher asks the school principal to turn on the heating, only to be met with a response of ‘The cold never bothered me anyway.’ Peggy-Sue is compelled to ‘Let it go.’

16:00 – GAME SHOW – Toilet Paper Challenge – Contestants are fed a meal of beans and kimchi, and then run around Seoul looking for a bathroom with TP. Who can win the ultra-bonus points for finding soap, hot running water, and a functioning hand dryer?

18:00 – Evening News – Snow, hail and wind all hit Jeju, the veritable Hawaii of Korea.

20:00 – Kim Jong Illin’ – Youth Oriented Political Commentary. This week, westside is to be re-designated as northside by the wicked-cool leader.

22:00 – Super Adjosshi Man – The intrepid superhero is backed into a corner by a young traffic cop wanting to give him a ticket for running four red lights, but after quickly downing a bottle of soju, he magically absolves himself of all responsibility. Repeat

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