Deskwarming Special

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14:00 – Educating Busan – Peggy-Sue teacher sits alone in a freezing cold school, wondering if anyone would notice if she slipped off back home, returning to sign out at 5pm

16:00 – Travelogue – Yoo Bum-goo heads to Paris, where he finds himself disappointed at the lack of sugar in the local baguettes.

18:00 – K-Pop Star! – JYP takes no time in signing a 14 year-old girl who can sing and fart at the same time. The music mogul declares her ‘the next big part of the Korean wave.’

20:00 – The Culture Show – The finest example of modern Korean culture, the plastic chairs outside 7-11 are under threat from government philistines.

22:00 – Happy Seollal – The Korean tourist board invites you to enjoy all the best Seollal (Lunar New Year) has to offer. Congested highways, a lack of bus and train tickets, and a spam gift set.

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Deskwarming Special

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14:00 – Educating Seoul – Billy-Bob finds himself deskwarming alone in a freezing cold school. Watch as his plans to write a novel, start an online business, and learn how to use Photoshop go down the drain, as he plays on ESL Cafe and Facebook all day.

16:00 – Magic Adjosshi – Unassuming bank clerk Chu Won-seok is given super powers after downing a bottle of soju in a magic phone booth. This week, he flies (into a rage) and shoots his enemies (with projectile vomit).

18:00 – Master Chef Korea – The judges struggle to understand the concept of ‘breakfast food,’ disqualifying two contestants in the process.

20:00 – The Office – Sitcom about a group of Chaebol employees playing around on the internet, because their boss hasn’t plucked up the courage to go home and see his wife and kids yet.

22:00 – Movie – Hollywood Action Blockbuster – Bruce Willis is in the midst of explosions and subtitles, where expletives are simply shown as the Korean word for ‘damn.’

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Have a drink and flick on the tube…

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14:00 – La Fashionista – The Gangnam Girls try to impress each other with extremely fashionable t-shirts. Will the poncey judges prefer ‘Glacial Greed Pussy’ or ‘Too Drunk to Fuck?’

16:00 – Doraemon – Korean kids get to unwittingly love something Japanese.

18:00 – Evening News – Korean boozers are to be forever condemned to drink Cass and Hite.

20:00 – Consumer Watch – Popular faux-Aussie restaurant chain Outback is investigated for not having enough random bones and gristle in their meat products.

22:00 – Sejong Broadcasting joins AFN for late night programming – Caution, the constant patronizing safety ads may kill more brain cells than Cass and Hite combined.

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